Thursday, March 20, 2008

Why didn't I think of this sooner.....

We have been in "discussions" with Caleb our 12 year old. He has done what any other normal pre-teen has done. He decided it was easier not to be honest with his parents than just be truthful. While the details of the offenses (yes offenses) were minor in scope, taken collectively they become a major issue because Helen and I will not tolerate lying. That being said, consequences were quick in coming. Which led me to ask to more in depth questions. We found out that Caleb was having issues with a classmate that was giving him a hard time. The father in me wanted to rise up and tell him to handle his business and fight back. Knowing that would not be the best course of action I tempered my speech to remind him the nobody has the right to put their hands on him. After a few minutes of talking about it, we told him that this kid may not have a great home life which could be the reason for his actions toward Caleb. Caleb has never had a problem making friends and he is very well liked by his classmates. Then it hit me.... I told him the next time this other boy begins to mess with him that Caleb should simply say... " Hey Man you seem to be having a bad day.... How about you let me pray for you? Just saying that should freak him completely out. If he says no, pray for him anyway out loud.

My son laughed and said you know dad.... It makes sense.... Look out but I think he is beginning to get it. That's my boy.


jen said...

Wow! This is a great blog post. Every parent with a preteen should read this.

Kevin a.k.a. Cubbie said...

You are a great father! I don't know if you need to hear it, but you really are a great father!
That was awesome.
All I can say is I pray the wisdom of God fills me at the right time like he did you.

Caroline said...

It's definitely not easy to communicate the right ways to handle conflicts to your kids ... you have found a beautiful way to navigate such a tough situation J. ... I'm impressed!

Rich and I face this battle frequently with our boys ... most of them being new Christians who look at us like we've grown a third eye when we try to teach them about handling conflict. We have to take a different approach with our boys ... they haven't had the benefit of being raised in a Christian home ... but if Rich and I ever have our own kids ... just know ... I'm taking notes. You guys are awesome!

Much love to the Fullers!