Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Top Christmas gifts for Dad!!! Old School edition

  1. Brut 33 cologne- As bad as it sounds.
  2. Socks
  3. tie
  4. Something that looks like an ashtray that you made in class

These are some of the things I can remember giving my father as a child. Man, he really got hosed. Thankfully I don't have to face the same problem that dads from the '70's had to face. Because God saw fit in His great wisdom to invent BestBuy. It is single handled my favor store in all the known universe. Plus I have the extra bonus of having a December birthday. I will be 38 in case you are wondering. My bride gets mad at me cause all I want for Christmas is gift cards from there. The way I see it, you use less wrapping paper, it takes up less space under the tree, which if you have ever seen my mother-in-law's house on Christmas Eve, then you know this is a good thing. In my mind it is a win-win situation.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The great debate...

In keeping with my new found inspiration for Christmas. I thought I would let you in on a little publicized, yet hotly contested battle that goes on in my house about this time of year. The great Christmas tree war. You see, my lovely wife is just CRAZY about Christmas. She would start decorating and preparing in August if she could. But I digress, for you see every year that we have been married she has gotten to decorate the tree any way she wanted. For the most part, that has been fine with me, except for one sticking point: THE LIGHTS! When I was a kid we decorated our trees with the multi-colored lights and mismatch ornaments. We even had a multi-colored star that lit up on the top of the tree. And as many of you know, my wife is very precise when it comes to decorating, especially at Christmas time. She likes the white lights and matching ornaments. The color schemes have varied only a little since our first Christmas. The main themes usually being gold and burgundy and some shade of green. I thought I would have had some allies when we had kids because I was able to successfully bring them over to my side of this fight and push for the multi-colored lights. I was sad to say that my Helen was a Rock unto which our watery assault beat in vain. She has stood fast and held true to her decorating prowse. Will I ever get my wish, who knows. But it is not for lack of trying.

My mother-in-law tried to extend an olive branch on my behalf and she bought me a 3 ft tall fake tree with the multi-colored lights on it. It was displayed in a less than prominent place in our apartment, Helen won again. Fortunately all is not lost, because where I have failed on the lights I have gained ground with the mis-matched ornaments. My secret weapon.... The kids. Did you know that kids make and collect all kinds of crazy ornaments and then have the nerve to want them on the tree. I feel like a field general positioning his troops for the final assault. Helen doesn't stand a chance.

P.S. Don't tell her I wrote this.


How smart do you have to be...

.... to be a dumb ass??? I say this in all sincerity. In life there will be times that you will look back and say, If I would have done this or said that then I could have avoided all the crap and trash that followed because of a wrong decision or worst yet, no decision. So since it was a banner week for me last week. I hereby crown myself Dumb ass of the week. This title will be available to all of you who have made silly mistakes in life.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The plans are set in motion!

For those of you who thought this Christmas thing with me wouldn't last well shame on you. Because at this very moment (well not exactly but close enough) my plans for being formed and things are being set in motion that will forever change Christmas at the Fuller home! Dramatic isn't it??? Well maybe forever is a little too strong of a word, how about making a significant impact in my family's holiday cheer. Stay tuned, more excitement is on the way.

BTW- Helen just got Hip Hop Abs in the mail. Yes this means I will be doing them with her. If you have seen the info-mercial then you know what I am talking about if not then check out this site. Many of you are thinking by now, will there be pictures of yours truly sweating to some pop and lock routine, or can we expect some of these moves to be unveiled during church one Sunday..... Hmmmm NO!

I have no pride left, this is the final humiliation. In the words of that great '80's rapper, "Don't hurt'em Hammer!"